Title: End of Me
Chapter : [7/?]
Characters: Kyuhyun, Siwon, Heechul, Eunhyuk, Sungmin etc.
Pairings: Wonkyu, Hyukchul
Genre: AU, Angst
Word Count: 2,039
Warning: Dark imagery
Disclaimer: I own many things, but unfortunately Super Junior isn't one of them.
Choi Siwon is the brave, bright and latest addition to the staff of the small and isolated Yongshin Mental Hospital; a man of principle who holds on to what he believes and surrenders the rest to God. But the wall that he so carefully builds around himself threatens to crumble when it comes to one particular and special case; the defiant yet fragile Cho Kyuhyun.
One-shot (linked) - Bright Lights
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6
“Calm down! What’s wrong now?” The nurse on night shift cried sternly. Kyuhyun fought to keep his escalating breath steady and tried to speak coherently. The nurse gave him a look that he hated but he ignored it.
“You have to check on Leeteuk! I think he’s going to hurt himself!” He grabbed onto the nurse’s arm frantically, hoping for a positive response.
The nurse quickly wrung her arms away and stared at him through narrowed eyes. This time it was her turn to grab his upper arm; a squeeze that rather hurt. She shook her head as he winced slightly. “The nurses have just gone for the rounds earlier, everyone is asleep, and everything is fine. Leeteuk-ssi is going to be released tomorrow; there is no reason for such nonsense. Now calm down and go back to your room.” She signalled to a younger nurse who had been looking on worriedly from behind the nurse station.
He shook his head furiously, hands curling into shaky fists. A rock seemed to be lugging at the bottom of his stomach; the metaphor for a bad feeling, a very bad feeling. He would have went on and checked on Leeteuk himself if the nurses wouldn’t but the only problem was that he actually didn’t know where the older man’s room was. Damn it, he cursed under his breath. If something happens to Leeteuk, if someone get hurts again because of him…
“If he didn’t want to leave the hospital, then he should just find a way to stay here forever.” The voice rang eerily in his head, every word loud and clear. No, Leeteuk was supposed to leave tomorrow…!
He tried to steady his voice and stared straight into the nurse’ eyes urgently, trying to search for any sign of empathy but only cold foreignness lured within. “I’m serious! This is really important, alright?! You have to believe me! He’s going to hurt himself! He doesn’t want to leave the hospital, that’s why he’s going to find a way to stay! Please, just go check on him now!” he cried, voice slowly cracking into a hoarse whisper. His hands had started to shake uncontrollably again; the first time the horrible feeling that he dreaded so much washing over him since he had came to the hospital. Another nurse who had just arrived came and shushed him down with an apathetic pinch on the arm.
“Stop talking nonsense! If you don’t stop it, we’ll have to sedate you!”
Kyuhyun stepped backwards in two huge strides in fear. Why wouldn’t they believe me?
Have you forgotten? You’re crazy, that’s why.
Kyuhyun’s hands begin shaking but he curled them into fists to stop, even if they still do despite his efforts. He swallowed and his throat felt like cotton. He should have seen this coming. But it’s fine even if they don’t believe him. He would search every room even if it takes it all night. Kyuhyun turned in attempt to dash off but instead was confronted by a huge figure who had quickly grabbed hold of his scrawny arms. He struggled and kicked, legs swinging in attempt to wring loose from the grip but it was useless; the man was far stronger than he was.
“Stop it, what is going on? Let go of Kyuhyun!”
A familiar sounding voice rang louder than the voices in his head, dispersing the scattered thoughts. Finally. Kyuhyun lets himself go subconsciously, cold hands lapsing back into shaking violently.
He struggled more and finally slipped his arm free painfully from the tight grip; anxiety bursting from his chest and zooming in all directions at the sight of someone familiar, someone who might actually at least have a small chance of believing his words, however impossible and crazy he sounded. He shook his head from loose thoughts and swallowed in feeble hope, grabbing at the threads of it despite how thin they might be.
Maybe…just maybe…he might listen.
Kyuhyun turned around and reached out, frustration almost feeling like it was choking him. “You, you have to believe me. Please.”
Siwon furrowed his thick eyebrows in confusion, startled by the blonde boy’s urgency, augmented by tight grip on his own arms. The nurses and the orderly seemed to be shaking their heads in disapproval, looking as though they were ready to pounce at Kyuhyun once he dismissed the blonde boy as well. As a doctor he knew he should probably order for sedatives or patient restrain. But looking into those eyes brimming with plead, Siwon had forgotten that he was one. All he knew was that he wanted to help the boy.
“It’s alright, I’m here. I believe you.”
The words rang in Kyuhyun’s ears, blocking out every other thing that tried to tear him apart. How could those words be spoken so easily? It took him awhile to fully take in the words, nodding back submissively as the taller man took his hand safely in his, seemingly charging through whatever that may be there to stop them. Something inside begin to stir up but Kyuhyun didn’t care; all he knew was that he should follow where the man might lead him.
“Dr Choi, he’s really not there!”
Kyuhyun clasped his head in his hand in frustration as he waited outside the room one corridor away from his own. Siwon and Sungmin-ssi who had just joined them amidst the chaos had opened the white door of Room 04 and found the small room dark and a pillow and bolster cleverly arranged under sheets to make it seem like there was someone sleeping underneath them. As expected not a single trace of Leeteuk could be seen in the room.
“I told you, he’s not there. He’s going to do something stupid,” Kyuhyun said exasperatedly.
Siwon furrowed his brows and swallowed dryly at the urgency that was plastered on the blonde’s boy face. He knew he had to do what he had to do, despite whatever consequences it might bring.
“Sungmin-ssi, alert the orderlies and nurses to look for Leeteuk. But don’t alarm other patients. We have to search the hospital.” Siwon tried his best to keep his voice steady and firm, but he wondered if Sungmin noticed how his hands were shaking subtly.
“Siwon-ssi, Dr Choi, are you sure about this? We’re supposed to report to Dr Kim or Dr Lee first before we can do a search. If anything goes wrong, there’s going to be trouble. You’re really basing this purely on Kyuhyun-ssi’s words?” Sungmin said sceptically.
“There’s not enough time. We can’t wait for them. If something bad happens to Leeteuk then that’s worse. I’ll take responsibility for everything, alright?”
Sungmin crinkled his brows slightly at Siwon’s determined face and gave a heavy sigh as he glanced at Kyuhyun. “Alright, fine. I’ll do it.” He turned behind before breaking into a run. “I’ll go alert them. But in the mean time don’t do anything stupid that’ll spoil your name. Because if you do, you’re spoiling mine too. I’m in charge of this shift tonight.”
Siwon nodded back with gratitude as the orange-head disappeared from view.
Beside him, he could feel the boy fidgeting and looking around restlessly. Siwon grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing Kyuhyun to look at him in the eyes. “We’re going to find him, alright? No matter what we’ll find him. Now do you have any idea where Leeteuk might be?”
Siwon kept silent as he felt the boy’s body trembling slightly beneath his touch, giving him time and capacity to think properly.
Kyuhyun bit on his lip and stared into the young doctor’s eyes; inside his head he was trying to do the talking, the questioning, the calling; hoping desperately that something might provide him some answers.
“Answer me…what else did Leeteuk say when he talks to you? Tell me, tell me!”
He called out louder and louder in his mind, almost shouting but his mind were filled with hoards of other noises and sounds his own voice seemed to drown in them. His head started to ache really badly, but he forced himself to focus.
Coward. Afraid. Nonsense apple-stick hair. Dimples. White. Yellow. White. Ducks. Crayons. Yellow. White. Angel without wings. White. Wait…angel without wings?
“Hi, my name is Leeteuk! But my real name is Park Jungsu. Or I’m also better known as ‘angel without wings! Teukie teukie~!”
Kyuhyun slammed his head against the wall behind him, cold sweat trickling down his front.
“Rooftop, the rooftop. “
Moments later Siwon and Kyuhyun had reached the highest floor of the small hospital and finally reached the stairways to leading to the rooftop. A soft pounding sound against metal resonated resoundingly, bouncing from the cold hospital walls all around them. As they approached the dark staircase, a figure was sitting on the highest steps where the sound of something hitting dully against the metal was the loudest.
Kyuhyun squinted through the dark as his eyes started to readjust according to the darkness, the blurry outlines slowly re-emerging in his sight. Soft murmurings were heard as the two of them rushed up the stairs to the source of the sounds, recognizing the voice immediately.
“I don’t…I don’t… I don’t…”
Kyuhyun hurriedly crouched beside the man, grabbing hold of his shoulders. Leeteuk had his back against the closed heavy metal door that had a sign ‘Rooftop’ on it, his face pale and eyes out of focus. To their horror the soft pounding sound they had heard had been Leeteuk’s doing; slamming the back of his head over and over again against the door. Kyuhyun reached a hand behind his head to stop the man, but withdrew immediately when his fingers felt wet and sticky. It felt horribly familiar, horribly similar…to having blood on his hands. Leeteuk’s eyes rolled unfocused after smiling a crazed smile at the two of them, finally stopping. “Don’t move him yet...” Siwon warned quietly, feeling Leeteuk’s pulse somewhat calmly.
“Kyuhyun-ah. You’re here.” Leeteuk’s lips curved weakly into a smile, dimples deep and mesmerizing, Kyuhyun regretted never telling him how attractive they looked. Leeteuk somehow slumped helplessly into his arms, skin feeling horribly frigid. “But tell them I want to be here too. I don’t wanna go.”
“Shh…don’ talk. You’re bleeding…” Kyuhyun said, voice shaking, looking at Siwon exasperatedly. Siwon had hurriedly fished his cellphone and pager, obviously notifying Sungmin and the rest.
“I don’t wanna go…And you told me to find a way to stay here forever, so I thought of flying. I knew I’d fall, because I’m an angel without wings. But the door,” he raised a hand weakly to jab at the door behind them. “It’s locked. Why? Why is it locked?” Leeteuk motioned to swing his head backwards again but Kyuhyun immediately stopped him.
“I’m so scared…so scared…Why do they force me? I don’t want to leave.” Leeteuk had begun to cry, whole body racked with soft sobs violently.
“They won’t force you to leave anymore, you can stay. You can stay here if you want. Just don’t…don’t do this again…I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Kyuhyun cradled the man tightly in his arms, tears threatening to fall from his eyes in the darkness. But there was no response from the childish man anymore, the top of his apple-stick hair jutting out at a weird angle as his head hung limply from Kyuhyun’s arms, dark red fluid a stark contrast staining against his white shirt.
“Kyuhyun, you can let go of Leeteuk now. We have to send him downstairs for his head injury. Kyuhyun…” Siwon was shaking him on the shoulders. Suddenly when he looked up everything was bright, too bright and there were too many faces other than Siwon’s staring startlingly at him.
“Will he be alright?” he said quietly. Siwon grew worried at the blankness on the pale face, devoid of any expression.
“He will, I promise. I’ll make sure you’re alright too, okay? Now leave him to us…leave him to me…We’ll all be alright…” The voice was soothing, so soothing suddenly, it almost had a sedative effect. Kyuhyun finally let go of Leeteuk’s limp figure as he slipped his cold hand into Siwon’s.
We’ll all be alright? You promise?
Siwon’s nod was all he could see.