Characters: Kyuhyun, Heechul, Yesung, Siwon, Donghae, Hangeng, Eunhyuk other SJ members might join in soon
Pairings: KyuChul, YeWook, past!HanChul, KyuSung_friendship, SiChul_friendship, Kihae and more to come soon
Genre: AU, Supernatural, Drama, Angst
Word Count : 2,883
Warning : Character death, ghostly apparitions?, mature language
Disclaimer : I own many things, but unfortunately Super Junior isn't one of them.
After the whole ‘ghost’ incident with Heechul, Kyuhyun thought he would be free from all of the craziness and go back to his normal life as a university student. But when he starts to hear whispers again, nothing is as he expects...especially when so much more is at stake this time.
Listen (Part 1) - in Masterlist
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13
Almost everything was white.
But he did not really care about how unreal it was, just letting the surreal surroundings wash over him. After all it felt peaceful and nice, calm even, like nothing was beckoning at the back of his mind, nothing that might just trigger off an alarm system in him that something was not right. Oddly colourful fishes were swimming around in puddles of calm, crystal clear waters and every once in a while he swore some of them were smiling at him. He had always believed that fishes were his friends, and not food; something that earned him some spanking when he was younger because he refused to eat anything that has fish meat in it.
Plain, white snow was falling out from the white skies above as he strolled alongside the path in the middle. He was smiling but it was not because of how the world seemed so beautiful, but it was also because he had him by his side, just walking, hand in pocket and the other with fingers interlaced with his. He noticed how cold they were, but no, he remembered how it has always been cold. The smile disappeared from his face as an overwhelming wave of panic washed over him as he tried to take in every detail. It felt like if he didn’t look more at that beautiful face he would not get another chance. The face, it was pale, and a few fine lines decorated the handsome face but the expression, it wasn’t a happy one. Why, Donghae wanted to ask, I’m happy when I’m with you, are you not?
The other boy just shook his head, eyes still refusing to meet Donghae’s wide, puppy-like eyes; something that the other had once likened them to.
Footsteps rang and suddenly everything fell into shades of gray instead. He could hear someone shouting his name and the voice was somewhat familiar. But he didn’t really care; all he wanted was to see Kibum smile again. Why, what was wrong? Nothing was wrong, nothing was wrong.
It wasn’t that there weren’t any hunch or bad feeling; it was just him fighting it away.
The voice had belonged to Eunhyuk, his dance teacher. He was running towards them from afar, hands outstretched, and Donghae’s heart skipped a beat. Inside he was literally screaming for the older boy to not come any nearer but Kibum must have sensed it because he felt the hand tightening painfully around his.
It was his fault, his fault.
If only he had handled it better, if only he wasn’t so stupid, if only he could run away, if only, if only….Donghae felt the ground beneath him shake as cracks begin spreading from where Eunhyuk was suddenly lying and squirming on the ground, hand outstretched and reaching out to Donghae, blood running across it like spider webs. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, he screams, but Kibum doesn’t seem to hear him. His eyes were stinging with tears but he didn’t care. He wanted to help Eunhyuk but he couldn’t move his feet anymore. He tugged harder at the boy’s sleeve but to no avail. Kibum’s face was emotionless, nothing like how he had ever seen before.
I don’t love him, Kibum-ah. I only love you. You don’t have to hurt him. Why can’t you see? Don’t leave me…. Donghae gasped and sobbed uncontrollably as he fell hard on the ground, finally realizing how it was like to be a fish out of water. Kibum began walking away without another word, his back growing smaller and smaller. Even Eunhyuk wasn’t there anymore. Everyone was gone and the world became dark. Even Heechul-hyung wasn’t here to save him. He was going to be all alone, like how it was in the beginning, how it was meant to be. He was born to be left alone, like how his mother left him when he was small. Maybe…just maybe, he will get used to it. But for now, Donghae curled and held his head to his knees, the world growing smaller and smaller before engulfing him.
This is ridiculous. Really ridiculous, Heechul swore under his breath. Going to others to get information about his own brother, he never thought he would have to resort to this. First he was running to Ryeowook at the animal shelter (you’ve been sharing a room with him and yet you don’t know what’s happening?!) but of course after calming down, he realize how the smaller boy was busy with his own family matters and wouldn’t have time to notice anything else, perhaps only Yesung, and then to a ‘Minho-ssi’ who was probably the only name of a colleague that he’s ever heard Donghae mention at the supermarket where he worked (Y-yes? Donghae’s hyung? I think Donghae’s been into dancing lately, maybe even dating…Is everything alright?), which eventually led him here, a small dancing studio that may probably go unnoticed among the other shabby shop lots down the street if it wasn’t the bright sign that read ‘All Rise Dance Academy’ in a diamond symbol. If it wasn’t for his brother, he’d never come here; especially when he knew how many of those ‘unseen’ were dancing along with the small number of dancers unbeknownst to them. He glared at one who had no head just hanging above the door just as he strode into the building, ignoring the sickening feeling that was churning in his stomach.
Loud music blared in one of the many rooms along the hallway, surprised that the door had let to a space that was longer than he had expected. He simply picked one and barged in, going in with his instincts. He needed some answers and something in his gut told him that it was here.
“C-can I help you?” The boy with floppy blonde hair stood up with difficulty at the front of the class, holding on to his crutches as support. Only a miserable number of less than ten students were in the class, all looking bewilderedly at Heechul’s sudden entrance.
“You must be Eunhyuk. I need to talk to you about my brother Donghae.” Heechul didn’t bother with the number of open jaws and odd stares all directed at him.
“What do you want with me?” Eunhyuk asked coldly as he settled back on his chair after sending his puzzled students out. “You’re dating my brother aren’t you?”
“No, I’m not. What made you think so? Did something happen to Donghae-ssi?” Eunhyuk asked with concern. “Don’t lie to me, seriously. Are you the one making my brother act so strangely these days?” Heechul inched closer, stare cold and menacing. The wide slabs of mirrors showed their reflection and Heechul despised looking at so many more other than their own.
“What are you talking about? I-we never dated. Besides, Donghae already has someone else. Am I not miserable enough?! Look at me now!” the boy griped, letting his crutches fall to a loud clatter on the floor. “What do you mean?” Heechul asked, eyes narrowing at the boy who looked away.
“He did this to me. I don’t know how and who...Or what he is. I just know he did it. I don’t blame Donghae, I never did. I’m just worried about him. I don’t understand why he’s still with someone like that,” Eunhyuk sighed bitterly.
“I’ve never see him. All I know is that his name is Kibum.”
For the first time in his life, Heechul prayed that ‘Kibum’ was a common name around here.
Kyuhyun bit on his own lip as he inched closer to the pale face, body lying limply on his apartment couch. He had laid a small warm towel on the forehead and a blanket over his frigid and painfully thin body. He didn’t remember the figure to be this skinny. He placed the back of his fingers against the boy’s arm; at least it felt warmer than it did when they were outside in the frigid snow. He glanced around his seemingly empty apartment; his Yesung-hyung was nowhere to be seen or contacted; most unfortunately when he needed help to drag the dead weight all the way back and up the building. Then he remembered what he was doing before he pushed the boy from the speeding car. He was just about to go deeper into the Chinese guy’s story but was yet again cut short. He felt very sorry for the poor spirit but he can’t help it if he keeps on disappearing too right? He shook his head away from guilt.
Kyuhyun had made up his mind, if he failed to wake the boy up again this time he would definitely take the boy to the nearest hospital or at least call Heechul. But he couldn’t…even when the boy was unconscious he managed to mumble out a plead: “Don’t call my brother…please…” before falling back unconscious. Both as stubborn as hell, Kyuhyun thought, definitely brothers. He sucked in some warm air before tugging slightly on the boy’s shoulders. “Donghae-ssi?” Donghae-ssi!” he half-shouted. Thankfully the boy begin to stir to consciousness but then with arms flailing everywhere and screaming, much to Kyuhyun’s alarm. “Kibum!” He quickly grabbed the boy’s shaking shoulders and held them firmly, his eyes staring into Donghae’s frightened ones. “It’s okay, it’s alright, Donghae. You’re alright!”
Sobs ensued before the boy’s shaky body began to grow limp again; eyes bewildered with tear tracks down the pale face. “W-where am I? Y-you are…” The boy’s face contorted into a puzzled expression. “Here, have some warm tea first…” Kyuhyun pushed a white mug into the boy’s hands. “I’m Cho Kyuhyun…I think we’ve met before at your apartment…I’m well,” he paused and pondered on what to say next,” a good friend of your Heechul-hyung’s.” He mentally beat himself up; he had been self-promoted, shamelessly.
“Oh…” Donghae looked down at the mug of brown liquid he had just been handed to. The smell immediately made him feel like puking. He looked up again at the somewhat familiar face, trying to register the boy’s words. He didn’t know where he was, and he didn’t care. He tried to remember what he was doing before ending up being here, but only vague memories flashed back. He swung his legs down from the couch and felt all sorts of dull and sharp ache groaning in different parts of his body. It was only then that he noticed a bulge on his right knee. Kyuhyun took the cue and sat down beside him. “You hurt your knee just now, I tried to patch it up, so it’s not that bad. Thank God you’re okay…”
Donghae blinked away the moist in his eyes and muttered a small ‘thank you’.
“Donghae-ssi…I know we’ve only met once…But you were nearly knocked down on the streets just now. Is something bothering you? Your brother told me a bit about you…he sounds very worried,” Kyuhyun tried to sound as gentle as possible. The boy heaved a sigh as a drop of tear fell into his tea. “I know…but…” he cut himself short and bit on his lip without another word.
“Is it something that you can’t tell him? Maybe I…well, can try to help you?” Kyuhyun offered, trying not to sound too awkward. Donghae finally looked up with the biggest puppy eyes that Kyuhyun has ever seen.
“Have you ever loved someone before, Kyuhyun-ssi?”
Kyuhyun blinked. I love your brother seemed like the worst thing to say and he was taken aback at how shamelessly his inner self was accepting his somewhat awkward affection towards the loud-mouthed, milky-white skinned guy finally. Note to self: GUY. But it never really did matter, did it? It used to and he shunned it away, but the harder he fought it, the worse it became. It definitely mattered to the world outside…and his family; his academically-driven, high-society family. He didn’t have to move away from home in the first place if he had the guts to stay on and risk killing his own father even without lifting a finger. Distance was definitely better.
He finally bit out a semi-mumbled “Yes, I guess…Does it have to do with someone named Kibum? You were shouting his name when you were out...”
Donghae nodded somewhat bitterly. “I love him, Kyuhyun-ssi…I really do. We were so happy before this. But I did something wrong. He thinks I love Eunhyuk-ssi, but we’re really only friends and then he gets upset, even threatening to hurt him. I get scared sometimes…” Kyuhyun listened with empathy as the boy began to rock his body to-and-fro subtly, not unlike a nervous child.
“But I know he wouldn’t…I know he’s more worried about hurting me more than anything else. But now he’s gone…he’s gone…without a word…Just like how Hankyung-hyung left my Heechul-hyung…“Kyuhyun merely caught the mug as it slipped from the other’s hands as he broke down into muffled sobs, tea spilling on the floor.
“Hankyung? So that’s what happened? He left?” A lump formed at the base of his tongue as his heart raced. “Sorry…” Donghae coughed as he squeezed his eyes shut feebly. “You didn’t know?”
Kyuhyun shook his head immediately, eyes widening. “C-can you tell me more about him?”
“Hankyung-hyung was an exchange student from China at hyung’s university; Siwonnie was the one who introduced them three years…” The lights in the living room flickered suddenly before a gust of cold wind blew in through the open window. Kyuhyun’s head had suddenly started to ache but he ignored it before walking over hastily to close the window.
“He moved into our apartment and they were really the happiest couple ever before that fateful day. They had a really big argument and then he left without even a note to hyung. Just like that. Just like Kibum. All I know is that Hankyung-hyung always gets worried and overly-worked up when Heechul hyung somehow comes back disoriented or hurt. Hyung acts like he doesn’t care now, but I know that he has never stopped looking for Hankyung-hyung until now…So I wouldn’t stop looking for Kibum too…”Donghae went into a violent fit of coughs suddenly before calming down again. “Are you alright?” Kyuhyun looked at him with concern, shaking his now-throbbing head as he tried to make sense of the boy’s somewhat confusing story.
“So that’s why he’s always this moody…” Kyuhyun felt a pang in his heart. So that was why the older man was always acting like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders; he has a void in his heart that cannot be filled. He didn’t know how long he was lost in his thoughts before it was the other boy’s turn to shake his shoulders.
“I-I’m sorry, Donghae-ssi...About this Kibum-ssi…Does Heechul know about this?”
Donghae gave a broken laugh. “He’ll never agree to it, never…I know my brother. I know he’s only trying to protect me. But no, he’ll never let me be with Kibum.” Donghae let out another quiet sob that wrenched Kyuhyun’s heart. Kim Heechul…you fool, this is not the way you protect your brother, don’t you know, don’t you know…
“Your brother just wants to protect you, Donghae-ssi…I think sometimes he wants to protect the people he love so much that he forgets what they really want…and what he wants. He forgets that pain is what defines people sometimes. It’s what that makes them realize what Is worth going through pain for, and ultimately who they are…”
Donghae nodded quietly. “Do you love my brother, Kyuhyun-ssi?”
Kyuhyun heaved a deep sigh, head too heavy to register the shock. “Is it too obvious now…? It doesn’t really matter anymore, does it?” He gave a somewhat awkward bark of a laugh.
“Why can’t we choose who we love?” Donghae asked through half-lidded eyes as Kyuhyun sent a text message to Heechul.
The question rang in his ears. Kyuhyun looked down; not knowing what to answer and figured that he wanted to know the answer to that as well. Donghae let his head fall against Kyuhyun’s shoulder as he closed his eyes.
Kyuhyun didn’t know how long they sat on the couch together that way until the bell rang in a very intrusive way, followed by loud bangs on his door.
“Donghae…!” Kyuhyun numbly let himself be unceremoniously brushed aside as the other reached out towards the boy on the couch. “Are you alright?” Heechul hugged his one and only brother as hard as he could, tears threatening to fall. “H-hyung…I’m okay,” Donghae said feebly, trying to stand up. “Then we need to talk…” Heechul said in a low voice. The younger boy merely nodded.
“Thank you for saving my brother…Kyuhyun.” It was the first time he had heard his name roll out in a somewhat thankful manner from the older man’s mouth when he had finally came over to take Donghae back, face all white and crunched up in worry. Donghae gave a weak smile as he wobbled out the door with Heechul’s shoulders as support.
A broken smile formed on his lips as he motioned to shut the door at the man’s bewildered face.